


Lifts here, lifts there lifts fucking troubles up the arse

by two_dead_parrots



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2450738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_dead_parrots/pseuds/two_dead_parrots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>light-years ago I've seen a prompt of the OTP stuck in a lift after fight... I'm procrastinating. here it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lifts here, lifts there lifts fucking troubles up the arse

'Fuck, fuck, FUCK!!! Jesus damned cunt of piss! Move along. ...Cunt. Fuck, come ON!'  
'Jamie, shut the fuck up.'  
'Aye, easy to say, yer used to it, you probably pause the lifts to shag Mr Baldy Ballbag.'

Malcolm just rolled his eyes, but otherwise pretended not to hear his right-hand-turned-psycho rambling away.

'I bet you do. You stop the lift and he gives you a posh blow job every Monday fucking morning. Fuck!'  
'Just shut the fuck up. Fuck on the bendy bus, I've no signal.'

Malcolm doesn't care about the abuse at all, but the loss of signal an therefore no calls and email bothers him.

'Ay, right. Fuck off.' Jamie kicks the wall, but otherwise keeps silent.

Ten minutes of uncomfortable silence are, well, uncomfortable for both men used to silences with nothing to say. Each of them occupies their own corner of the lift and pretends the other is not there. After a while JOLSON fills the lift with the only sound that can be heard. While Malcolm has the urge to play some Verdi just to piss Jamie off with some opera, he has no internet connection so he can't and and he has no work to do and no one to shout at.  
Surely, he's got someone to shout at, he just doesn't know yet who and why, because the Matrix is plugged out from its source. And the Matrix is nervous about. Ever so slightly.

When the same song plays for the third time because Jamie wasn't arsed to put more than 5 Jolson songs in his phone, Malolm snaps.

'Turn it the fuck off! 've heard that already.'  
'Batter than your seeping for air.'  
'Plenty of air left still let for the fucking likes of ya.'

….

'When the fuck are they coming with those building shit. Cunts need to walk the cunting line.'

Before he could realise, Malcolm replied: 'Cunting line for cunts, someone needs to make them to walk it, aye?'

First crack in the suspense since their colossarse fight about half an hour ago.

Jamie almost smiled.  
'You think we could die in here before they fucking come?'  
'I'm too fucking important for that.'  
'So I should be grateful to stuck in here with you. Breathing my air.'  
'The fuck are you on about?'

Some seconds passed and Jamie quietly moves to Malcolm's corner of the lift.

'The fuck you're doin' here? Running out of air?'  
Malcolm instantly regrets his tone when he sees Jamie' s expression.  
'Don't tell me you're fucking claustrophobic.'  
''Am not!' protests Jamie while incontestably moving left to touch Malcolm's jacket.  
'Come 'ere you pint pot psycho cunt. Never knew you're scared of lifts. Would've put you in with fucking Nic'la otherwise.'

Fight or not, Jamie snuggles in and almost purrs.


End file.
